Dads, if you have children they will need some things from you. We know that we ought to pass down a spiritual inheritance, but we live in a physical world. Your children will also need:

• friendships

• education

• work

• spouses

• a good church, and 

• a place to live. 

Fathers as the leader of your household, the weight of these things fall on your shoulders. Those reading this will be able to provide these assets (spiritual inheritance included) in varying degrees. It ultimately depends on the Lord’s providence. But does this mean we sit idly? Certainly not! For what father when his son asks him for bread gives him a stone? (Matthew 7:9-11). It is good for you to work and give these things to your children.

As the US continues in its spiritual and economic decline, the assets listed above will be harder and harder to find for the coming generations- the rising price of homes over the last 50 years is a good indicator.

As fathers we need to think critically to do the best we can for our children, wives, and generations.

Let's focus for a moment on education. 

American K-12 public education is actively trying to turn your children against you and the Christian worldview. This is not new information for most folks. If you’re in central Iowa you’ve likely found many private Christian schools have waiting lists. This means Christians need to create schools.

Higher education is another problem entirely. A small percentage of young men will need a degree in a hard science (medicine or engineering). In every other case- is a four year degree really worth it anymore? Employers would rather have a man of good work ethic, character, and experience, than someone with a degree. If most young men don't need higher ed, where will our sons work?  Christians need to create businesses that can employ our church’s men. I'm not thinking of lemonade stands and paper routes. I'm talking about collections of legitimate businesses that can provide internships for teens and full time income for men and their families. 

Let me illustrate the importance of education and schools in the example below. The Smith’s are a Christian family choosing an education for their 6 year old son. They have two options:

“Option A” (Current trajectory for most children in America today): Parents send their boy to a public school. Over the course of 12 years he unknowingly accepts moral relativism and humanism (multiple realities are true, humans make truth) despite going to church and youth group. He graduates and goes to college because that's what his friends do.

4 years later…

At the age of 22 he graduates with 30k in debt, multiple sexual partners, and a job that can barely pay rent. His corporate job lays him off after 3 years and has to move hours away to keep earning an income at a different job. Stories like these are the most common result for children in christian homes today.

“Option B” (Historically normal trajectory): Christian parents give their boy a Christian education (homeschool, private school, or combo of both). The child grows in knowledge and obedience of the Lord, bolstered by other like-minded adults and peers. His father helps him evaluate career opportunities based on his strengths and what will provide for his future family. The father connects him with a locally owned construction company for an internship at the age of 16. The young man spends 2 years under instruction and at 18 transitions into full time work. 

4 years later…

At the age of 22 he bought a home a mile down the road from his parents (remember he had no debt and was earning 45k a year in construction). He and his wife (a young lass from his church that his family has known for years) are now expecting their first child.

Same family, drastically different outcomes. So how do we get more families to Option B? It happens through a good church.

Most churches today are geared for maximum attendance*. This is often accomplished through maximizing entertainment (Made-to-order coffee, emotional rock band style worship with led walls/ haze) and decreasing discomfort (separate church for children, no need for congregational singing, softening the sermon message). If this sounds like your church, your family is in peril. Because the goal is maximum attendance, the church’s leadership is much less likely to confront the idols of the age that bring families to ruin (feminism, comfort in parenting, politics, and child education… just to name a few).

Secondary issues might be taught about, but there is rarely a stance. Families are left to figure it out on their own. Ironically, this brings about a church body prone to division. Vague stances on secondary issues combined with the maximum attendance model results in youth and families who are entertained, but not taught. They are assembled. but they are not together. In short, they produce “Option A”.

Instead, imagine a for a moment a church that is:

• Reformed- agrees to a historic confession (unity and fruitfulness in church body), liturgical service, hymn- based worship.

• Family Integrated- Children of all ages participate with their parents in Sunday morning service.

• Biblically patriarchal- Men leading in home, church, workplace, and government, rejecting feminism of the 20th century.

In short, this is a church that embraces hard work (think learning to sing, disciplining children to sit respectfully for an hour, or pulling feminism out by the root) for the reward of a fruitful, well-ordered life. Informed by the adopted confession they will work out positions on secondary issues. It is one culture that works together for the good of the body, local community, and Christ’s glory. 

A vibrant church body such as this will naturally produce the things your family needs. From friendships to marriages, and education to vocations- these are historically normal things that are produced amongst a body of believers. 

Does your church body have the same view? If the answer is yes, then praise the Lord! But if your answer is no, then perhaps you need to make a change.

Dads, reforming your current church (or moving to another one) is difficult work. But take heart! You were made for difficult work. In 40 years as you look upon your own generations, joyfully and obediently following the Lord you’ll be filled with thankfulness, not regret. 

For Christ’s glory in Iowa, the United States of America, and the ends of the world,

-Tyler Perry

*Some churches do this with good intention. The thought is “the more attractive we can make the church, the more people learn about Jesus.” The base instinct is good, but the practices that support it do not produce unified culture or fruitful congregations.

This is a project for our country, but especially for our county. If you’re in central Iowa we’d love to hear from you. Drop your email below- we’ll reach out and keep you updated on future articles, events and ways to get involved.